Fuck the Pesterlog: Homestuck without the story
character breakdown #1 (THOSE DAMN KIDS)

Before I start Act 2 (because quite frankly that might be NEVER) I’m going to do a breakdown of characters as I know them through seeing everyone talk about them on tumblr and the tiny bit I have already read myself for the sake of comedy!

that kid whose parents paid you to hang out with but then you realized no amount of payment was enough to deal with the bad jokes, stolen wallets, and the eternal smile of a snot glob on his shirt watching you Forever.

oh no boys and girls, it’s that girl with black lipstick! how edgy, just like her evanescence albums and knitting gear. and a purple skull to boot, soooo spooky! you better leave her alone, she even calls herself tentacle the rapist so that could actually be true so really don’t talk to her.

oh god it’s that guy who tells everyone what a hipster he and tries to point out how ironic it all is but what he doesn’t realize is the most ironic thing of all is how he perpetuates the mainstream stereotypes of the hipster douchebag, thus becoming the very thing he hates and the day he realizes it he will just have to commit seppuku on the internet as an apology to humanity for what he’s done.

the weird girl who everyone befriends because they feel bad and then they find out she’s actually nice so for a short while she comes to trust everyone. that’s when she reveals her furry porn collection and then she doesn’t understand when no one returns her calls or stares at her like a freak when she barks at them from across the street, which they told her before was cute….

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